And this one...one of these days I will figure out how to make the links appear on the side of this thing! Maybe I can find someone who knows html to redesign my template...

Now this is cool. I love the internet!

I do not think I could ever be a movie critic. I think in order to be a good movie critic you need to always watch a film with a bit of detachment. I cannot imagine you are able to really lose yourself in a film as a reviewer. I suppose you can see each film more than once...the first time to really watch it and enjoy it and the second time to review it with a more detached eye. I wonder if that is what critics do. But I would also think that after time, you lose the ability to be a regular moviegoer. Even I, nothing even close to a reviewer, have a hard time watching a movie without noticing - even seeking to find - anachronisms, continuity lapses and things like that. Tonight, as I watched "Owning Mahowny," a selection of the San Francisco International Film Festival, it occurred to me that I will likely never make my writing career as a film critic! First of all, I got lost in Philip Seymour Hoffman's character. He is a stupendous talent and whenever I watch him onscreen I have trouble focusing on much else. For some reason, I am predisposed to dislike Minnie Driver and she was in this movie, too. But I cannot decide if she did a poor job, if the character was poorly written, if the director failed to bring her character out or if the editor cut in the wrong places. Whoever is at fault, I thought the Minnie Driver character did not add anything to the film. Now, I do understand that it is based on a true story (and a novel) so there is probably little room. But I also know that movie makers are known to take poetic license and this would have been a good time to do so. It's just that, the whole time I saw her character, I was hard pressed to understand why she was staying with this guy, unless she is a total loser. Frankly, she comes off as a loser and though she says she loves him, I never actually saw or felt it. I think it was probably a combination of writing and directing. And then acting. Because I just do not like her!

My sister's next movie - Hollywood Homicide - is coming out soon! It is set to premiere in June. Not sure when in June but we are hoping the week while Mom and Nick are here so we can all go down to the big red carpet premiere and see it together or else all go to the theater on opening night and see it together! Anyway, the trailer is apparently out in theaters now and she is in it (towards the end). Kind of fun! In order to see the trailer in the theaters I will probably have to go see something wretched, like Anger Management or some other awul blockbuster. So, I may have to content myself with seeing the trailer online!

What a weekend...it was so relaxing and at the same time so busy. This weekend was especially full of good times with close friends and quality time outside riding, running and swimming. I started to feel some weight be lifted off of my shoulders Friday evening. I am not sure why or how. I decided to have a mellow evening alone on Friday (even though I also decided I need to stop spending quite so much time on my own). I went for a swim at Koret. I felt good in the pool, though the guy sharing my lane was so fast (as were his training partners one lane over) and it was a constant reminder of how not fast I am! For some reason, though, it did not get my spirits down. I was swimming fairly consistently and at a comfortable pace for me, making the time in the pool go fast. I haven't swam alone - not with masters swimming - in several months, it seems. Anyway, after Koret I went down to the Marina and ran for about 28 minutes. During my run I did about five 20 - 30 second pickups. It was not too dark out when I started but was definitely dark when I finished. I got some dinner, went home, read and went to sleep. A good night's sleep.

Saturday was a great day. I went for an early brick workout. My ride was good, my run was tough for the first 20 minutes - but the last 10 felt pretty good. I need to remember that on race day...the first few miles always really suck.

Saturday afternoon Buzzie and I went to a "purse party" down in Burlingame where some woman sells knockoff Prada, Hermes, Gucci bags. I bought a few cute ones, none of which I actually need and two of which I will probably have to remind myself to use. But they were cute and I never buy stuff for myself like that so I figured, why not?

When I got back to the city I met up with the Monkey and we just went for a walk down on Union Street. It was nice to hang out...she just has such great energy and she is so nice to be around. I feel very free to say things to the Monkey that I would not say to anyone else and when I am with her, and we talk - really talk - I feel free.

Saturday evening I went over to Grandma's house and watched a movie - "Y Tu Mama Tambien." It was a really beautiful movie. I don't claim to know a lot about filmmaking - lighting, angles, color - but this film seemed exceptionally beautiful and bright. And the story was also touching and moving. Though I will say the translation from Spanish to English left a little to be desired. I mean, did they really have to have the characters say, "dude," every other sentence. And, "Want to smoke a spleef?" translated from Spanish? COME ON!

This morning I got up early to run Nicky's Rainbow Run 10k with the newly engaged A___. I knew the chances of me having a PR were slim to none. I am just not in the kind of shape I was in last year when I ran it in something like 52 minutes or so. I was on track to do it in 53 and change or maybe 54. I ran with A___ up until about mile 3.5. I considered going ahead but thought it would be more fun if we ran it together - it had been so long since we ran together at all, like we used to, and I was only really doing it because she was. But around mile 3.5 I felt like I need to run a little harder than I was. So I took off for a while and ended up catching up to Alien M___ from last year's Ironteam. We ran together for about a mile and a half. I could tell he was pushing it hard and that was fun...it was cool to run with someone who was being pushed by me, instead of the other way around. It reminded me of Coach Kate who always said, "work together." I felt like Alien M____ and I were working together. At around mile 5.5, I sent him on his way and waited for A___. That last hill is a bitch and I could tell she was already having a tough time. I thought it would definitely be worth it to do together. And it was. She had said early on that she wanted to finish in under an hour. It was close. But we ended up coming in at 59:30.

After spending some quality time with my New York Times, I went to meet M____ and K____ at Aquatic Park for a quick open water swim before Wildflower. K____, not surprisingly, did not show up. Oh well...but M___ and I went for a quick swim around the perimeter. The water was as cold and nasty as I remembered! I had not been in AP since last July. It was actually very cold at first but once I got swimming I warmed up fairly quickly. And M____ was good...waiting for me at key spots so we both felt safe out there. It started to get ugly out there and as we headed back to shore from the mouth, the waves were a bit gnarly. I swam as fast as I could just to be finished.

Then this evening I went to Sausalito for the Matzo Brie cookoff at Mama J and S____'s. It was me, Buzzie, R___, Goldie and Mama J and S____. What an awesome evening. It felt so warm and full of love and life in that house. I love spending time with the B____'s. And needless to say the H___S___'s. And Goldie brought his guitar and played and sang for us. It was awesome. I find him very sexy when he is being musical. Other times, I feel there is a negative energy between us. And, frankly, when he is being musical, there is no energy between us other than what is coming from me. But it is always nice to hear someone play and sing with that beautiful voice of his. And he is so un-self conscious. I know he has issues...everyone does. But when he is playing and singing, sometimes you can tell when he is really feeling it. Other times, you can tell he is not feeling it. Either way, he is so present and it's really quite attractive. Alas, we are not a match (not least because he wants a skinny girl and I do not come close to fitting that bill!), though I have to admit, it would be nice if we were because the family scene tonight in Sausalito was picture perfect.

I do hope that if I meet a man that becomes my life partner he has cool parents and they live nearby! Is that too much to ask?

"I'm sick of being so fucking conscious all the time. I'm like this incredible watered down version of myself." Brenda said this tonight on Six Feet Under. I must admit, there are times when I have had this thought myself.