I sent another $25 to Wes Clark's campaign today. I am not sure why. He isn't thrilling me but my gut is telling me that he is the guy who can do it...who can beat George Bush. I just don't think Dean has it...sure, he excites a lot of people, including me at times. But I am beginning to think he is to the Presidential campaign what Matt Gonzalez was to the San Francisco Mayor's race...exciting to a particular, excitable portion of the die-hard population...and alienating to everyone else. I will say that Dean is good...his people are good. Today I got an email, not five minutes after sending my money to Clark's campaign, telling me how to donate gifts to the service men and women over in Iraq and ways to donate frequent flier miles to them because when they get their two-week furloughs, the US army flies them to the US but not all the way home and they have to figure out how to pay the rest of their way to see their families. He's good and he's got smart people working for him. But I just don't see him as the President. I cannot put my finger on it just yet. Clark...I don't know about him either...but I do know this: Lieberman certainly can't win, and I am not convinced that a vote for him is much different than a vote for GWB...I mean, sure, it's different. But he is too far right for me...we need a swing in the other direction. Kerry is good, too, but he took too long to get out there with an attitude and a message that could excite people. The media clearly have no interest in him getting the nomination and so I don't think he has much of a chance. All this brings me back to Clark.

I read something funny today on Salon.com. I read that Madeline Albright was in the Fox news studios and she made an off-handed, tongue-in-cheek comment to Mort Kondracke...something to the effect of, "I wonder if the Republicans are hiding bin Laden and are planning on bringing him out right before the election." i had to laugh, since this was precisely my sentiment just a few days ago. Of course, Kondracke pretended he thought she was serious and began reporting her comment on the news...his actions were fairly transparent if you ask me...and Albright was appropriately disgusted by him. Still, I got a good chuckle out of it. It might be shaping up to be a Bob Roberts kind of election season.


Had lunch with Broadway today. That's twice in one week that we hung out. As I told him today, we better pace ourselves. After all, we haven't hung out in about a year...don't want to go overboard as soon as we reconnect! He makes me laugh. He is definitely an interesting character. I am working on letting down my guard around him. I think I am getting better at it - and it's good practice for me. I want to be able to be more open and vulnerable with men. But when you have a history with someone, it can be hard. I have no idea where this friendship is going - if anywhere. At the moment I don't see romance in our future again. I am not quite sure why, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I don't think he has quite let go of the idea of his ex-girlfriend. I no longer have judgments about that - just because I am over A___ and know there is no future for us does not mean that Broadway and his ex have no future together. Their relationship is their own and I do not know the first thing about it. Regardless, he is fun to hang out with...he makes me laugh and thinking about him makes me smile. I finally feel like we may be getting to know each other...a little bit of a clean slate between us and a chance to try honesty and openness. This is all good for me and part of my learning process.

Still no word from BB. I guess I think it's strange...but it is so far beyond my comprehension that I don't know what to make of it...clearly I missed something. Unless I didn't miss anything and my assessment has been right all along. Or perhaps this was his grand plan...I blew him off all year and then I finally agreed to go out with him, realized I actually could be interested in him, he waits for me to actually get drawn in and then WAMMO! he disses me - hard - to give me a taste of my own medicine. Not sure I deserve that but he didn't strike me as the most emotionaly mature so...maybe this is his way. Either way, I am happy to say goodbye to that one, as we approach the anniversary of our first encounter. Something about it seems fitting.

So, they caught Saddam Hussein. I woke up to the news on Sunday morning. When Trell said to me, "They got him!" I said, "Who? Osama?" But no...it was Saddam. Useless, pathetic, old Saddam (and after his capture several more bombs went off and more people died). I mean, we should be getting Osama...where is that guy? That's what I want to know.

But of course, it's good news that they got Saddam. I mean, that guy SUCKS. So, it's time he faced the music. But, I have to admit, there was a little part of me that thought, "Oh shit...this isn't good for the Democrats!" Unpatriotic? Maybe...but I couldn't help it. Then I made myself feel better by reminding myself that GWB will probably manage to fuck this one up anyway...so it's probably too soon to bemoan his good luck. The cynical part of me thinks that they know where Osama is and they are tracking him...and will "smoke him out" right around September 5 or 6 next year. Just in time to get the "bounce" for the election.

This Saddam business makes it more and more obvious to me that Dean cannot be our nominee. It's either Clark or Kerry, I think.


One of these days I won't be so tired. I am still behind on sleep from that weekend of Date #2, which was followed by a bad bad cold, which was followed by burning the candle at both ends trying to finish applications, stay engaged at work and run or do yoga once in a while. Plus...my mind has been expanding a bit these past few weeks as my emotional growth spurt continues...that's exhausting, too.

I had a nice evening with Broadway last night. It was nice to be around him, just hanging out, talking and sharing (especially him...he shared some very personal stories). The best part about it was seeing our walls come down as the conversation went on. At least, seeing my own come down (see what I mean about the growth spurt?). We exchanged some honest thoughts with each other, and he was so gentle, warm and generous with his. It has been a while since he has evoked a tender feeling in me...Of course, I cannot seem to shake him and I don't know what it will take for me to "get over it" with him. But last night I got to see again why I liked him in the first place...Why he has this hold on me, you know? It was nice.