I was out of town all weekend - camping - so I did not have any access to newspapers or radio. I was cut off from the world outside of Lake San Antonio in Monterey County. If it did not relate to triathlon, I had no idea it was happening.

When I came home, I tried to read the Sunday New York Times that was waiting at my doorstep but I was too tired and fell asleep doing the crossword puzzle. Today, I managed to nose around some web sites in between work projects for an update on what the "President" has been up to (though truth be told, I needed the break from his antics after that bizarre plane-landing-on-carrier incident) and some insight into the weekend's Democratic presidential debate. From all accounts I read, it sounds like Joe Lieberman did a great job at making himself stand out among the group of eight candidates, not an easy task. And there is something to be said for the fact that he is the only one who has actually been part of a campaign that has already beat W. But let's face facts...Joe is not likely to win the general election. And the truth is, I do not want him to win the nomination! I am sure there are many who would think that is pure heresy coming from an East Coast Jew like me. But I just do not agree with him on so many issues. He is too conservative for my taste.

Because I know he is devout in the practice of his faith, I trust him more than most politicians to speak his truth. But he is a politician. And he wants to win. And I firmly believe that all politicians must, at some point, sell at least a part of their soul to hold onto their power - not necessarily for power's sake, but because they have changes they want to make, a way they want the world to be. But politics is more than ideas...it is a game, it is a process and throughout the course of that process, many of them seem to make compromises in order to hold onto their power. Over time, they seem to forget why they wanted the power in the first place. Anyway, I am not sure this applies to Joe Lieberman, but I am sure that on many issues - fiscal, military and even social - we do not see eye to eye. And I sometimes have a hard time understanding where he is coming from, what guides his political positions.

I think I like Howard Dean...Dr. Dean. I always thought I would support John Kerry throughout the process. After all, I worked for him and I really like his credentials. We have similar perspectives on the issues that are important to me. But I guess what I am looking for in the primary process is a true blue liberal. I need to reconnect to the causes that define what it means to me to be a Democrat. And while I think that John Kerry has the true blue credentials, I also believe he wants to win so badly, he might go to any lengths to do so. And to a certain extent, that is okay with me...because I really really really want the shrub out of the White House and only a Democrat that is willing to go to the mat will make that happen.

But so far, of all the candidates, Howard Dean is the one that is speaking to me. He says what is on his mind. He asks the questions I have. He doesn't pretend to have all the answers but he is clear about where he stands. I like that in a candidate. It is so rare. In 1992, I was a huge Bob Kerrey supporter for the same kinds of reasons. I had a feeling Bill Clinton was more electable, and I was prepared to work on his campaign when or if that came to pass. But for the primaries, for the contest of the party faithful, I wanted to put my energy where my spirit was...the ideas of the candidate, not his electability.

Once Kerrey was out and Clinton was the clear nominee, I jumped in with both feet and was unwavering in my support for most of his eight years (though his personal indiscretions were a total embarassment). I dedicated myself to the campaign without every looking back. But I do not know that I could have done that if I hadn't dedicated the primary season to Bob Kerrey.

And so maybe this time around, it will be the same way. Perhaps I will go into the contest working for Dean and if he ends up not being the nominee, I will throw my support behind whoever is (and I will volunteer on that campaign because losing the Presidential election in 2004 is not an option). Because what I like about Howard Dean is that he speaks his beliefs, even when they are against the grain, even when he knows that the media will likely twist it around, even though his Democratic opponents are likely to paint him into a liberal corner. It does not stop him and in fact, it seems to attract more supporters to his cause. I could be wrong, but it seems to me that he strongly believes in the heart and soul of the Democratic party - the social values and community responsibility that my Democratic party stands for . Meanwhile, I sent an email to the Dean campaign indicating my interest in volunteering and have yet to hear back.