Still sunburned. Now my arms, really it's more my shoulders, but anyway, now they just feel kind of leathery...sleeping is a bit uncomfortable but hopefully tonight is better than last night. I bought some aloe gel so I am hoping that works. I can't tell if it's better than the regular lotion I was using. But I guess I will trust the experts on that one!


So, earlier today I had my whole topic for tonight's blog picked out. I was talking to J____ about the whole notion of the "backslide" and how it seems to me that people our age (late 20s, early thirties) slip into the backslide pretty frequently and I was wondering why that is. I mean, why can't we just break up with people? And I was going to dedicate a whole musing session to this idea. But as I thought about it, I started to realize that I think the reasoning is pretty simple (we always prefer the known to the unknown, even when the known is not necessarily the best thing for you...and I think at this age, it's scarier and scarier when you breakup and have to get back out there to keep looking for your life partner...so you stick around, try again, hope you can make it work)...so I am not going to spend any more time on it!


Still at war. I can hardly believe it. So, the first few days, the television and the radio and the newspaper was all war all the time. Then, after a few days, it was back to regular programming. Which makes sense, I guess. But nothing has really changed about the war...so why the reduced coverage? Or is the real question, why the intense around-the-clock coverage in the first place? Is it because we thought the war would be over in three days so the networks can spare the advertising for those few days? It seems to me that the longer it drags on, the closer we get to Baghdad, the more I want to know...But alas, it's much more important that I have access to things like Married by America...because if I didn't, that would mean the terrorists win, wouldn't it? Actually, it wouldn't...


And I must say, there is something really strange about watching the footage from Iraq and then watching "a word from our sponsors." I hate to say it but, it seems somehow appropriately American. I do love America (would I love any country I called home?) and I am a firm believer in our principles of freedom. But I also think that our technology has gotten ahead of our "moral" education and experience, thus leaving us with things like Joe Millionaire and Real World: Iraq.


Buzzie and I were discussing the other day whether or not we would die for the principles of American democracy. In other words, if the USA was invaded by, let's say, some Islamic fundamentalist force who, if victorious, would suppress freedom of press, speech and religion, along with freedom of movement, educational opportunity, choice and the other freedoms we enjoy thanks to our Constitution and Bill of Rights... would we take up arms and die for the cause? She was certain she would. No doubt. I would like to think that I would...but I wonder. I think in theory, OF COURSE I WOULD. But I just wonder if I would have that kind of guts...or would I try to flee to another country where I can enjoy if not those freedoms exactly, some version of them...Who knows...I hope to never have to find out.


I heard a really disturbing thing on the news today. NPR is doing this series of "War Diaries" and today the diary was of a tattoo artist located near Camp Lejeune in North Carolina (incidentally, where A___'s brother is based) and he was talking about how busy he was in the few months leading up to the war tattooing the Marines before heading off to Iraq. The disturbing part was when he was describing the kinds of tattoos the soldiers were getting and he said he was doing a lot of religious symbols...praying hands, crosses, biblical verse..."real Crusader stuff." Scary. Is this what George Bush's daily prayers are inspiring?


I do hope that this war ends soon. I guess in my heart I know it won't...I am scared that we are going to be in this region for many years to come...Bush doesn't seem to have a true, long-term vision. I can't see where he is going with this...I wish I had more faith in him. I mean, I wish I just disagreed with him, but it's more than that. I fundamentally do not trust him and do not share his notion of America in 2003.