Sometimes I think it's important to write, just to write...Just to keep up with the discipline of writing. I mean, if I am going to someday be a writer (I mean, really be a writer), I have to get in the habit of writing even when I don't necessarily have that much to say or feel like saying what I do have to say.

So I just read a news story that said something about Halliburton (Dick Cheney's old company) decided not to go for the big contracts to re uild Iraq...well, sort of. Halliburton decided not to be the primary contractor...they will still be a subcontractor. So, this is a really FUCKED UP public relations ploy. The plan is clearly to keep Halliburton's name out of the headlines...so the story will be about some other, unknown company, but really as the subcontractor, Halliburton will likely end up making most of the money (the primary probably wouldn't get the contract without Halliburton) and still keep the spotlight off the company and, by extension, Dick Cheney...How do you write that press release and then feel good about what you put out in the world?

One of these days I am going to write a funny story on here... but so far, the funny stories are not what drives me to write much.

I really like the series on Salon called, "Match Made in Heaven, Match Made in Hell" about online dating horror stories or fantasy tales. Being a sometimes jDater, I can relate to most of the stories people send in, but certainly not the ones that are really awesome - or really awful, for that matter. In fact, I recently wrote my own entry that I was going to send in about my experience with Broadway. It felt good to write it out...and I managed to make it somewhat interesting. But for some reason it didn't feel right to send it in...I don't know why. I think maybe I felt like it sounded kind of bitter. Or at least more bitter than I actually feel. Anyway, it's a cool segment. I do love Salon.com and I encourag everyone to subscribe to it because it would be an absolute travesty if it went out of business...It's the only even somewhat alternative voice within the relatively mainstream media "establishment."

Also, I love http://www.mediawhoresonline.com. But they are on vacation until April. Terrible time to go on vacation but, I guess everyone needs a rest once in a while!

I am soooo looking forward to seeing Meredith this weekend. I could really use a few sessions of just laughing my ass off...and I know I will get it with her! Everything around here is so serious...I haven't really laughed really hard in a while. I mean, Julie and I laugh a lot...but it's been a while since I have laughed really hard...so it will be nice to do that with my big sister. The drive down will pretty much suck, and the drive back will be even worse, I am sure. But I think that the time alone and away will be good for me...It's not exactly the time alone and away I was hoping for...but it's better than nothing. And hopefully the weather down there will be nice...for the race and just for hanging out!

Dinner tonight with A___ was good. I love the restaurant we went to...Herbivore. And it was pretty inexpensive. I was a little nervous at first...it has been so long since we have been friends - or friendly for that matter, as I am not even sure we were ever actually friends - but conversation was fine...It was actually nice. I just need to be careful with him. I need to protect myself. I have to remember that, because it's not my instinct to do so! But he seems well...and gentle...and the space between us feels less charged than in the past...and I am not angry anymore and I don't think he is as calculating or manipulative as he was...maybe also it's because those other feelings aren't there anymore, so I can let go of how angry I was at him for treating me poorly...Jess is right, I really need to learn how to be LESS trusting and protect myself...I am still trying to figure out how you do this without keeping people out and without being "cold" and overly-analytical. Hmmm...it's always a learning process, I guess...