Two nights in a row...out until 2 am! And another party tonight. This is a little bit much for me. But with the family gone and the race behind me, I also needed to let loose and have one of those weekends that don't come around very often.

It's too sunny outside to be in here writing...But I spent the whole day outside and I need to rest up before the next big adventure tonight!

I was so sad to see my mother go. I hate it when she cries and as we hugged goodbye yesterday she squeezed me so hard and started to sniffle...Then she lost it a little. She whispered in my ear, "Let's run away together to Mendocino." That sounds like fun. I wish she would really consider it. I think she needs to be here, on the West Coast, where her children are. We are clearly never going to move to where she is...I hate it that she movied to Florida. I really don 't imagine I will ever want to live there.

I love her, though, and I want her to do the right thing. Marriage is not going to solve N____'s health problems...and it will only make worse whatever financial strain she already feels from him...Most importantly, she does not want to be married. She is so sad and so angry an she hates to be that way...it tears her up. And I hate to see her so upset. I hope next time she comes, she does so alone...So we can play and walk and not be encumbered by his immobility or stubborn insistence.