Wesley Clark officially dropped out today. Truth is, he looked more spirited and upbeat at his campaign closure speech than he has looked for most of the campaign...it seems he just hit his stride! And he pledges to campaign for the Democratic Party, which is awesome...for the Party and for him...I get the feeling that he will run for elective office sometime soon in Arkansas...unless Kerry wins, in which case General Clark can be Secretary of State. If I was slightly less realistic, I might do my cabinet wish list right here and now...VP - Edwards; State - Gen. Clark; Attorney General - Eliot Spitzer (it will never happen but it's nice to dream!!); Labor - Gephardt...Okay, I will stop now. Anyway, now that things appear to be narrowing, and Kerry seems to be running away with it, I am starting to get excited and also nervous...I am ready to jump in, lend a hand. I really think I want to hold a fundraiser of some sort this summer.

Speaking of this summer...I don't know why I expected that all schools start in mid to late- September...but it seems Stanford is the only one that I applied to that starts in this time frame...Berkeley starts on August 9! MY BIRTHDAY! Imagine I got into Berkeley and had to start school on my birthday? I wonder if I will get called for an interview...they start sending out interview invitations at the end of this week...and basically if you don't get an interview, you don't get in...so now I get to stress about whether or not I will be invited to interview. And it sounds like the interview date for locals is March 6. So, I guess I will see what happens. And I still wait to hear from Stanford and Harvard and, of course, Columbia. Seems weird that Columbia was one of the last applications I submitted and yet that application seems farthest along. Oh well, there really does not appear to be any rhyme or reason to this process. I do hope I get in, though...at least to one location...I think if I did, I would immediately give notice. But I have to admit, I hope I get in more than one place...and I hope I get into something locally. I am trying not to think too much about it because the truth is, it's out of my hands at this point. I think it would be fun to have a business school blog...so if I get in, I think I will do that!

And things in the romance department are slowing down...or seem to be. BB and I...it's just not seeming to happen. I don't know how I feel about him...can't decide if I like him or rather how much I like him and the way we are going, I don't know that I will ge the chance to figure it out. I don't know what the issue is...it's like, we just aren't that into each other. Like there maybe isn't chemistry...we can't tell. But at the same time, we aren't really taking steps to be able to determine if there's anything there. And I guess I am putting it all on him...I guess I am still skittish and unwilling to take the lead or the initiative...So I tend to spend a lot of time thinking about what he's not doing right, what I don't like about him, why it's not working. Jess said that it sounds to her like I don't like him very much...or if I do, I am not really signaling that. But my question is, how do you know? I mean, how do you know if you like someone? How do you tell the difference between liking him and wanting him to like you? How do you tell the difference between not liking him and not knowing him well enough to know if you don't like him or you just don't know him? Does that even make sense? As I have continued to say, we shall see. I know it is incumbent upon me to say something...but the truth is, I am sick of talking about things with him...I want things to just happen. One way or another, it doesn't seem like there should be quite so much talking. So I have a feeling it will fade...And if he calls me, well, if he calls me and asks me out, I will go and that will be my last effort...and if we go out, I will bring it up...tell him what I want from him in order to get to know him better - to see if I like him or if there is any chemistry (which Jess says I haven't yet done). And we will go from there. In the meantime, I am going to continue what I have been doing...meeting other people, keeping my mind and my heart open. And I will stay away from the only one that really catches my attention right now...he's still off limits and despite our history and our clear connection, I need to remember that.