What does it mean to be creative? I have often thought of myself as creative and I have been told by others - family, teachers, friends - that I am creative. But I have always struggled to understand the difference between creative and artistic. Because artistic I am not. Visual arts - forget it. Music - ha. I try. I like to paint and I am trying to learn to play guitar but I have no inherent artistic talents. I can write but not really creative writing (remembering my creative writing class in college when my teacher, Rafael Campo, RIPPED a short story I wrote. Years later I read it and I was embarassed at how bad it was!). So am I creative? Despite this utter lack of artizitic talent, I still consider myself creative. But I don't know how to articulate what that means...artisitic vs. creative. Something to ponder.

Still at war...all war all the time...I think I need to turn off the TV for a few days. But truth is, I have a hard time tuning out. How dare I turn away just because it makes my stomach turn? And if I don't watch, will I miss something? If I do, will I learn something? Or, worst case, will I become desensitized and have the all war news sound simply like background music? I don't know the answer (shocker!)...and I wish I could stop thinking about it.

I am really looking forward to Passover this year. Both the first night at Trell's and the second night at Buzzie and Ryan's. I am a little bit sad that it won't be at 3125 Washington again, as it has been for five years...but life is change and while it is good to keep the traditions alive, one of the traditions can surely be slight changes from year to year.

It's weird to be 30 and single and so sure that I want to have a baby. Is it selfish to want to start a family? I mean, why do people "want" kids? Is it purely biological...I am a woman, my biological purpose on the planet is to reproduce so therefore I yearn to do it? Or is it that I have all this love to give but I am not in an intimate relationship so I can feel the excess oozing out of me with nowhere to go, and a baby seems like a good place to direct that love? I wonder. But I do know that I really do want to have a family. Does it matter why? I wonder...These are the things that keep me up at night. Well, and the biography of Harry Truman, which is like 2000 pages, I have been reading it for months and I am only about halfway through it!