What a week. I have felt so loved and cared for this week. But also very lonely. The surgery was quite an ordeal, I must say. But so many people showed so much concern and love for me. Everyone was gentle and caring and I think it has really contributed to my healing. But at the same time, surgery, or the emergency room...these things made me feel very alone. As much as I loved Buzzie and Ry being there for me...as much as I appreciated it and am so grateful for their love and friendship, it was one of those times when I felt so glaringly single. And as nice as BB has been...and he's been much nicer than I would have or could have expected or hoped...but as nice as he has been, he's not my boyfriend...I can't rely on it. And that is just kind of sad, I guess. I don't know. I am actually in good place with my singleness, after that weird experience with the "A___ box". And I have enjoyed this time with BB, just hanging out and talking on the phone for hours...no pressure, no expectations. But I guess I just want to know that there is an end in sight...that there will be a day when I won't have to go to the emergency room alone, or have someone else's husband bring me flowers in the hospital.